what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize