so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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