i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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