Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
