I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I understand Curling. That high.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
