My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
