Are we in a gay sports bar?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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