just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
