clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
