I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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