my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
