I can text with my tongue
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
