He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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