When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
