I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
