and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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