Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
