Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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