When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
