My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
