she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
