idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
smell my finger.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
