Sponge bath it is.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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