Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
