spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
