i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
