who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize