Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
