i love accidental penises.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
