you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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