It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
