guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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