I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
