I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize