guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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