If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
