Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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