Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize