My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
