I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
