Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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