Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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