I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
