The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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