on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
