I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
