And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
