Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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