Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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