If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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