If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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