Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
