Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
