living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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