I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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